February 14 is a lot of things:

  • My eldest dog-child’s birthday (she’s seven now)
  • A day in Black History month
  • The anniversary of Ellen Page coming out

Looking back in history, on this day, there were murders, mass shootings, economic recession in several countries, a collapsed water park in Russia, a shipwreck near Ireland, an asteroid-orbiting spacecraft, a ceasefire, the cinematic release of Silence of the Lambs.

I could go on, but we all know that the biggest thing about today is…

 

It’s Valentine’s Day

Some people love Valentine’s day, some people hate it (and some people buy birthday presents for their dog-children). I don’t feel strongly one way or the other about Valentine’s day, but I do feel a little aggravated at the people who get butt-hurt over this strictly-for-commercial-gain holiday. Their words.

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You know… Because gifts destroy our self worth. Especially when we don’t get any.

 

And I don’t disagree. But, why is that so bad? Some people spit out the words “Valentine’s Day” with as much force as Dave drinking apple juice only to realize it’s a urine sample. Seriously, you gotta read the label, man. So, before you get a full hate hard-on for Valentine’s Day because you’re single or your cats don’t appreciate you…

 

Think About it from an Economic Standpoint

Back in 2016, the National Retail Federation (NRF) estimated that Americans would spend about $19.7 billion for Valentine’s Day. “As the first major consumer holiday of 2016, Valentine’s Day could provide a positive boost in spending our economy needs,” NRF CEO, Matthew Shay, said in a statement accompanying the report.

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Ah, the smell of Capitalism.

 

In his 2016 article for U.S. News, Americans to Drop $20 Billion for Valentine’s Day, Andrew Soergel wrote, “These gains have been made possible in part by the growing number of Americans working in either full-time or part-time jobs; since the beginning of 2010, U.S. companies have created a net of more than 13.5 million new full-time and part-time positions.”

Wait… You mean spending money really does help make money? You get out of the economy what you put into it?!

I know, I know. I was once a young jaded girl who thought other people’s thoughts and regurgitated other people’s ideas. Then I realized it’s not ok to wear a bra on your head and runaround screaming, “Mayday, mayday, we’re going dooooowntown!” while making obscene gestures.

 

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That was the day I became an adult.

 

According to Laura Jerpi, “Consumer spending on Valentine’s Day gifts results in major retail sales that help many businesses meet their bottom line each year.” Meeting the bottom line one of those oft-regurgitated phrases that means nothing to a lot of people. I felt the same way. Suffice it to say that meeting the bottom line is imperative to keeping businesses up and running, and not ending up like K-Mart. In turn, that means job stability and employee pay raises, which means you can spend more, which means… I mean you get the cyclical nature of this, right? Of course you do.

So, next time you get completely, aneurysm-inducingly butt-hurt about this 100-percent-commercial-BS-holiday, just remember back to that low, low time in 2008-9, pull your up adult diapers (or pants, if that’s your thing), and try not to spoil this day for those people who really just want to give things to their loved ones.

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And dogs… obviously.

 

 

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